The fog is lifting

Matt left a few days ago. We loaded up the kids (and the dog) early in the morning and headed to the airport. A short 30 minutes later, he hugged the kids one last time while I put his duffel bag on the curb. Then he gave me a kiss and a hug, told me he loved me, and he was off. It seemed anticlimactic in some way. It was so simple--just dropping him off at the airport. But the impact would be much greater. For the first hour or so, I was okay. Sad, but okay. I dropped Colton off at preschool and then headed home with the girls (and the dog, although I wish I could've sent him to Afghanistan as well...). Anyhow, as soon as I walked through the door, I completely.broke.down. We're talking an UGLY cry, near hyperventilation, sobbing here. It wasn't pretty. And it took me completely off guard. I was a giant mess.

The first night was so hard. The gravity of the situation--sending my husband off to war--hit me. The fact that I wouldn't see him again for quite a while was sinking in. I've cried a lot the past few days, but it's getting easier. The fog is starting to lift (and I hope it takes all this rain we've had since Matt left with it...ugh). I can imagine getting through it and getting through it well. I can wrap my head around being content with phone calls and email until Matt returns safely home. I will rise to the challenge. My God will not forsake me, Matt, or our children (who are all grieving in subtle ways) while we are apart.

Basically, this is me saying that it will be okay. I'm saying this as much to convince myself as anything. Truly though, it WILL be okay. One day at a time. And we're already two days closer to him coming back home. So that's worth something, right? RIGHT???

I also want to say THANK YOU to everyone that has called, facebooked (is that word?) and been supportive in various ways. It means the world to me (and Matt).