Easton Si Hu

So, the other day I was telling some family and friends that I'm really not having a hard time waiting for Easton to come home. Basically, with Matt deployed, our family is separated anyway...so Easton being in South Korea doesn't tend to get to me too much. Sure, I love him becaise he's my son. But...I've never met him. I'm as attached as I can be without ever having met him. Honestly, if I sat around each day just thinking about him (or Matt for that matter) I would be miserbale. All that to say, I thought I was doing very well putting all thoughts of Easton on the back burner.

Until I went to church yesterday. As the worship music started I looked around the sanctuary and noticed that a mother had just walked in with her baby boy, who looked to be only 1-2 months old. Before I knew what was happening, I was all out crying in church. Nice. Seeing that little baby instantly made me grieve the loss of Easton's babyhood in our family. I will never know what his newborn cry sounded like. I will never rock him to sleep as a tiny baby. I likely won't meet him face to face until he's two years old. I'm passionate about breastfeeding and that's a bond that Easton and I will sadly never share. Adoption is loss. It's a sad fact. God uses adoption as a beautiful way to set the lonely in families, but it's not the way He intended for families to be. Therefore, loss, sorrow, and grief are inherent in adoption.

But so is the complete JOY when I receive a new picture of well baby check updating us on Easton. That's all we have, so it's worth a LOT. Today I was thrilled to get a new picture of Easton via email. He just went in for his 10 month checkup and the care package we sent was waiting for him. I love knowing that he has pictures of us now and he will wear the jammies we sent, eat the snacks we sent, etc. It makes me feel more connected to him. Isn't he just precious?