Missing Easton

Tonight I'm thinking about Easton. It's been 2 1/2 months since we first saw his sweet little face. Next month, he will turn one. And the reality is, we may not even get to go to Korea in 2012 to get him. I can't fathom the thought of not being able to meet my son until 2013. I can't imagine not meeting him until he is two years old. He won't be a baby anymore. He will be a toddler. A talking toddler. A toddler who I've never met and has never met me. A toddler who, at two years old, will be very attached to his foster family, his home, his culture, his language, etc.

It makes me sad, angry, and frustrated that we may have to wait 1+ year to travel. I hope and pray that the Korean government will allow us to travel sometime in 2012 (versus 2013) but that's something that won't become apparent until 2012 unfolds a bit more and we see how things are moving with families ahead of us in line so to speak. I realize I'm rambling...I just feel the need to vent a bit.

God is good. All the time.

We love you Easton Si Hu!

Care Package #2

Well, it's that time again. Time to send Easton a care package. This one is for his first birthday (!) which is next month. The kids and I headed to Target and picked out all his goodies. Colton was especially excited about the hooded frog towel he picked for his little brother. Natalie was pumped about his cute little monkey outfit. Matt was proud of me for sending our son a toothbrush and toothpaste. What kind of a dentist's wife would I be if I didn't encourage good oral hygeine?

We're sending Easton:
-one soft monkey outfit with a hoodie
-a cute, preppy outfit with khakis and a striped hoodie
-party blowers
-a #1 candle
-Leap Frog birthday cake that plays music and lights up
-two packages of Ghirardelli chocolate for his foster family
-Frog hooded towel
-Elmo toothbrush and toothpaste
-plush puppy dog
-around 30 pictures of our family
-a 1st birthday card

I tried my best to write a Korean message in his card. I wrote: "Easton Si Hu, Happy Birthday! We miss you. We love you. Mommy and Daddy." I also wrote Natalie, Colton, and Adelyn's names and ages on the back of some of the pictures I sent. I wrote Mommy (Umma) on the back of a picture of myself and Daddy (Appa)--Afghanistan on the back of his picture. The internet is fantastic--how else would I learn how to write "Afghanistan" in Hangul so easily?

Anyhow, I'm sad we're missing Easton's first birthday, but I'm excited for him to get his birthday presents from us. The kids and I will be braving the post office later this week (hopefully the Christmas craziness will have tapered off by then).

Just some pictures of the kids

Sweet Addy Hope

19 months old now!

Doesn't she look more and more like Colton?

Indoor play become increasinly interesting and imaginative in the colder months. Introducing the Walmart onesie, Natalie's latest creation.

Cute huh?

So fashionable

Two little monkeys on a rainy day.

Not too much going on here...just hanging around counting down the days until Christmas. Enjoy the pictures of the kids Matt! :-)

Endo Residency

BIG news in the Walker house! Matt was accepted into the Army's endodontic residency programs. In case you don't know (I wouldn't if I wasn't married to a dentist), an endodontist deals primarily with root canals. All day every day. Sounds thrilling, huh? Let's just suffice it to say that God places different proclivities within each of us and I definitely do not have the gift of being passionate about teeth, gums, root canals, etc. No thank you. However, Matt does! After praying about it, we decided to go ahead and apply for the Endo program about one week before he left for deployment back in September. Truth be told, we really didn't think he would be accepted into the program. It's highly competitive, and while Matt has great credentials, he doesn't have much experience in endo and has just over one year of service in the Army so far. So, after applying, we just prayed that God would lead us in the right direction, and really expected not to get in the program.





We were SHOCKED and THANKFUL to find out that he was accepted! We give God all the credit and glory for this accomplishment! So, the plan is he will start in this two year residency program the summer of 2013. We will move to one of two Army posts--one in North Carolina and the other in Georgia. As midwesterners at heart, we're very excited to venture out a bit and experience all that those parts of the country have to offer. The residency itself will be grueling, so the kids and I may enjoy the local sites a bit more than Matt will be able to...but I'm sure he will get it on the fun as much as possible. Completing the program will add an additional commitment of three years to the Army, so it looks like it could be awhile before we get back to the midwest once it starts.





We've been so blessed to live close to family since Natalie was born six years ago, and it's going to be straight up HARD to leave our families to head East in another year and a half. On the other hand, we're so grateful for this opportunity and adventure.





I'm SO proud of you Matt!

Easton update

Truth be told, I sometimes *almost* forget that we have a son in South Korea. He seems like such a distant reality. However, getting a well baby check in my email inbox reminds me (pleasantly of course) that we do, in fact, have a sweet little baby boy in South Korea afterall. Easton is 10 1/2 month old and I received his medical update from his 10 month checkup a few days ago.

At 10 months old, he weighs 20.2 pounds already and is 28.2 inches tall. That makes him the biggest Walker baby to date. Natalie, Colton, and Adelyn were well past their first birthdays before hitting the 20 pound mark (they've all been fairly small babies). He also stands alone and has even started walking this month! He has taken (as of his well baby check) up to 4 steps before falling. Oh, sweet boy, how I wish I could have seen those first wobbly steps. Again, he's ahead of the Walker family curve. Our oldest three didn't walk until 15 months. Finally, Easton has one tooth on top and two on the bottom.

I'm so thankful to get his medical updates so I can keep track of all the milestones he's hitting even though I'm not there to see them.

I need to start thinking about what to send him for his first birthday (which is in January). I love shopping for ALL my kidlets. :-)

Baking, Bounce house, and the Blues

Christmas season is my favorite time of year. I love drawing closer to my Savior as I reflect on his birth this time of year. Reading the Christmas story to my children, opening a piece of chocolate each night of Advent, making Jesus a birthday cake, driving around looking at Christmas lights, going to Union Station to see the Christmas train display, Christmas Eve service at church...there are just a few of the things that we enjoy this time of year.

HOWEVER, I'm really struggling this Christmas season. I underestimated how hard it would to have Matt away from home this Christmas. We're three months into this deployment (can I get an Amen???) and I feel like I've definitely hit my stride as far as taking care of the kids and the house etc. But not having my best friend here for the holidays is just straight up hard. I miss him being the one driving when we go to see Christmas lights. I miss watching Elf together (without the kids, don't worry) the week of Christmas. I miss wrapping presents while he....watches me wrap presents. I miss him. Period.

Which brings me to my next point. I've been pretty down lately. I feel like I'm in a funk that I'm having a hard time getting out of. One things I love to do that I'm finding very therapeutic right now is baking. A lot. In the past twenty four hours, I've made pepperming bark, Rolo turtle pretzels, buckeyes, fudge, and cookies. My neighbors have been the receipients of all my baked goods so far. I also plan on taking a big platter to church on Sunday. Natalie has enjoyed making delieveries to the neighbors.

On another note, it's gotten cold outside. Which means the kids, especially Colton, have a lot of pent up energy from not being able to spend as much time outside. Unfortunately, his pent up energy generally manifests itself as less than gentlemanly behavior. So, our bounce house has come back out for the season. The kids had a blast in it this afternoon. Except for Adelyn. She played in the bounce house for about 5 minutes. Then she threw up. Twice. She threw up once yesterday as well, but I thought it was from eating too much. Perhaps not.

Anyhow, that's what's been going on in the Walker house.

Is it January yet???

Christmas musical

The choir
Colton's Sunday School class got to come in and watch (he's in the middle).



Natalie with her "family."

Getting ready to go on stage.

Natalie and some of her friends from church.

This past week, Natalie had her acting debut in our church's Christmas musical and drama. She played...a little girl in a family. I know...a big stretch from reality. She did great though! Anyhow, here are some pictures and a video for you Matt. You'll make it for next year's musical!

Hi Daddy

Hi Daddy!

Sorry we've missed you on Skype lately. Here are a few pictures of all of us, ya know, in case you forgot. Which is unlikely.

Thanks for the package you sent! We loved all the treats, especially the Starburst.

We love you, miss you, and are proud of you!

Love,

Natalie, Colton, and Adelyn

Easton Si Hu

So, the other day I was telling some family and friends that I'm really not having a hard time waiting for Easton to come home. Basically, with Matt deployed, our family is separated anyway...so Easton being in South Korea doesn't tend to get to me too much. Sure, I love him becaise he's my son. But...I've never met him. I'm as attached as I can be without ever having met him. Honestly, if I sat around each day just thinking about him (or Matt for that matter) I would be miserbale. All that to say, I thought I was doing very well putting all thoughts of Easton on the back burner.

Until I went to church yesterday. As the worship music started I looked around the sanctuary and noticed that a mother had just walked in with her baby boy, who looked to be only 1-2 months old. Before I knew what was happening, I was all out crying in church. Nice. Seeing that little baby instantly made me grieve the loss of Easton's babyhood in our family. I will never know what his newborn cry sounded like. I will never rock him to sleep as a tiny baby. I likely won't meet him face to face until he's two years old. I'm passionate about breastfeeding and that's a bond that Easton and I will sadly never share. Adoption is loss. It's a sad fact. God uses adoption as a beautiful way to set the lonely in families, but it's not the way He intended for families to be. Therefore, loss, sorrow, and grief are inherent in adoption.

But so is the complete JOY when I receive a new picture of well baby check updating us on Easton. That's all we have, so it's worth a LOT. Today I was thrilled to get a new picture of Easton via email. He just went in for his 10 month checkup and the care package we sent was waiting for him. I love knowing that he has pictures of us now and he will wear the jammies we sent, eat the snacks we sent, etc. It makes me feel more connected to him. Isn't he just precious?