They say a picture is worth a thousand words. To that end, check out the picture of this little cartoon guy who is FREAKING OUT as he looks at the time. That's pretty much how I feel about Matt's upcoming deoployment. Although, I should clarify a few things. One, I am not a cartoon...or a man. Two (or maybe that should be three), you will never find me wearing a suit or carrying a briefcase. Wearing stretchy pants and carrying a toddler on my hip (and a diaper bag) with two other small people behind me? That's more like it. But I digress. The point is, Matt is leaving soon and I feel like a dark cloud is beginning to take up permanent residence in my mind. The longest time Matt has ever been away has been for the six weeks he went to Officer Basic Training several years ago. I only had one child then (and another on the way) and I even flew down to visit him for a week in the middle of his training. So, it really wasn't bad (at all).
This time, it's completely different. This time, he will be going to war. That brings a certain amount of seriousness to this departure. Second, I don't know exactly where he will be (this is hard for a type A control freak such as yours truly who loves to have all the facts). Third, our kids (at least two of them) are old enough to be acutely aware of his absence. It breaks my heart that their daddy will be halfway around the world for 7ish months. Yesterday, Colton asked me if I was going to Afghanistan too. I assured him I would be staying put. This morning, Natalie asked me if Daddy would be able to put her to bed sometimes even though he's deploying. I told her that Daddy will be so far away, he won't be able to come home at night...at all...until he's home for good. He will miss Colton's birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Natalie's birthday, his own birthday (well, he will be with himself, but you get my drift), Christmas, New Years (okay that's a stretch--we're usually in bed before midnight anyway), and Valentine's Day. He will miss trips to the pumpkin patch, trick or treating, driving around to see Christmas lights, birthday parties, and the day to day joys of just being together as a family.
I've known since Matt volunteered to deploy this past April that the day of his departure was approaching, but it's becoming more and more real as he completes everything on his "pre deployment checklist." I'm tempted at times to cry, pout, and indignantly demand that he not go. Of course, that's ridiculous, but I know that we will miss him like crazy. So instead, I will enjoy every.single.day he's still here, filling our days spending time doing fun things together and making memories with the kids and each other. And I will pray without ceasing.
3 comments:
Praying for you and your beautiful family, Sarah!
Call if you ever need to chat :)
Sarah, The longest Jared was gone was a little over 3 months, so I have a sense of your anxiety. We moved at a different pace when Jared was gone. Partly because we had too, I had to do the work of two parents. Time just sort of slowed down for me each day, I was in no rush to get through with any activity, because we did not have too, Dad was not coming home for dinner or bedtime. WE did not build out schedule around his schedule. You will find a new norm while he is gone. I encourage you to keep a positive attitude every day, that will really help your kids to adjust. They are "loosing" dad for 7 months, you do not want them to "loose" mom emotionally. That kept me going, I stayed happy every day to keep them happy every day. You will do a great job filling the gaps in their lives with Matt away.
Hey Sarah! It was so good to hear from you. I'm so sorry about the upcoming deployment! Blandon has been gone for the majority of these last 8 months, with training's, as difficult as that has bee, I can't imagine how much more difficult it would be if I didn't know he was safe, and couldn't talk to him frequently! Good luck! Where are you guys stationed? We are actually stationed at an army post in Virginia, kind of crazy! Good luck. You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
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