I'm feeling pretty frustrated today about our adoption process. So, I'm going to use my blog as a "dear diary" of sorts. When I updated on our adoption process last month, I shared that we were expecting a referral SOON given that our agency was starting to have children come into care born in January of 2011 (the arbitrary month of birth for our future child that our agency chose as being acceptable in order to put 8 months age difference between Adelyn and our future child) . Well, I logged on to our agency's waiting child photolisting and I immeidately noticed three new children added to the photolisting. Interesting. Children are only added to the photolisting if a family for them can't be found amongst families working with our agency. In other words, listing a child on the photolisting is used as a secondary means of finding a family when a familiy can't be found directly amongst the agencies existing families. Well, guess what? All three of these sweet babies were born in January of 2011. And our agency definitely didn't call us to ask if we would be interested in adopting any of them. We were skipped over for reasons unbeknownst to me. I'm so frustrated I could scream.
HOWEVER, I continue to believe that God knows who our child is. Without a doubt. This is one of those cases where I can't see the forest for the trees. I'm only able to see the situation from my limited, finite perspective. I can't see what God is orchestrating behind the scenes. And, to be 100% honest, that is a hard spot for me to be in right now. I am forced to submit and simply trust in His good plan. I have to resist the temptation to try and manipulate the situation and become bitter with our agency.
Whew! I honestly feel better just getting that off my chest. Alrighty then, back to child rearing...
1 comment:
During our wait for Charlie, we asked to be matched with nine different waiting children. Nine times we were not chosen as the parents. But, like you said, my hope and trust were completely with God. I knew that he had just the right child for us. So when we weren't matched, it was okay. I was still a little sad each time, but soon bounced back. It's a hard, long wait with unique emotions. Try to relax. Extend your mental time frame - Don't expect to be matched until after Matt gets back, then be surprised if you are. You will be matched at just the right time. Hugs to you.
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