Happy Birthday Easton!

Dear Easton,

Happy 1st birthday sweet boy! I first saw your picture just three short months ago, and now you are already one year old. What a big boy you are. Mommy prays for you often. I can not wait to hold you in my arms, to meet you for the first time, play with you, read to you, teach you about Jesus, watch you play, hear your voice, tuck you in bed at night. I can not wait to hear you call me mommy one day. Until that sweet day, I pray you are well loved and cared for by your foster family. Hopefully, we will celebrate your second birthday TOGETHER.

I'm sure you had a traditional Korean Tol party for your birthday, but we did a little celebrating here as well. I'm sure you don't mind. I made Korean beef bulgogi with rice for your birthday meal. Nana and Papa brought a fruit salad and a delicious cake. Your sisters and brother and I, along with Nana and Papa, sang Happy Birthday to you and said a special prayer for you. Daddy is in Afghanistan right now, but he was sure to eat a piece of birthday cake on your special day and take a picture. He loves you more than you know.

You are forever in my heart sweet child of mine. Happy Birthday!

Love,

Mommy

Dear Deployment,

You are no friend to me. You are a stealer of joy. A challenge. A battle. A separation. A dull ache that never really goes away. I've gotten very well adjusted to your presence in our family. We've managed to navigate our daily lives and interactions with one another despite your intrusion. We've embraced the opportunity to grow in our faith and to strengthen our relationships out of necessity due to your presence in our lives. Most days, I would even say we're thriving.

Today, however, is not one of those days. One of my kids is having a pretty hard time, and I honestly don't know whether to blame you or not. When I see something going on with one of the kids, I immediately wonder whether it is your reality, your presence in our lives that is causing what I see. Or is it just life with small children? Sometimes, it's so hard to tell.

Deployment, you leave me with so many unanswered questions. Are the kids really okay? Do they miss him? Are they scared he won't come home? Are they angry? Do they feel rejected? Am I doing enough? Am I loving them enough for the Daddy that can't wrap his arms around them right now? Am I really cut out for this lifestyle?

Tomorrow is a new day. But tonight, I just want my husband back.

Deployment, you stink!

Regretfully yours,
Sarah

ps-To show you that you will not get the best of me, I've included this comical picture. Take that, deployment!

Just Mommy and Adelyn

My little blue eyed monkey

Right before out two mile hike on a a WARM and WINDY day


She loves this little rocking horse

My parents live only and hour away (awesomeness) and offered to keep Natalie and Colton for a few nights earlier this week. They were so excited to spend a few days with Nana and Papa. And I was beyond thrilled to have some extended one on one time with Addy Hope. She is hilarious and quite the charmer. We had so much fun together shopping, spending time outside, playing dress up (yeah, that was mostly just her), reading books, and playing tag (she loved to be chased and tickled).

You know, when Natalie was born, I thought it was SO HARD to be a mom. And it was. My life went from being all about me to all about a baby pretty quickly. It's a major transition becoming a parent. When Colton was born, it wasn't nearly as big of a transition. We'd done the whole "new baby" thing and found what worked for us fairly quickly. Then, when Addy was born, it was just seamless adding another baby into the family. She has always been a laid back little lady, which certainly helped, but I think the more kids you have the more comfortable you become with adding more to the family. At least, that's been my experience. My point is, having a few days with just one baby again was gloriously simple and I was able to really appreciate it so much more.

Coloring and Reading

Dear Daddy,

I'm getting pretty big now! I like to color pictures at the table with Sissy now. Sometimes I take a bite of the crayon, but not not very often. I also LOVE books. If Mommy or Sissy can't read to me, I just read to myself. See? Just watch this video. When I read, I usually just make up the words to the story. Like in the video, I made up the story "God love you." Can you hear me say it? I love you Daddy! I miss you! I sleep with my Daddy doll every night. When Mommy gets me out of my crib in the morning I tell her to press the button so I can hear your voice. Can't wait 'til you're home again Daddy!

Love,

Addy Hope

Jesus Paid it All

I hear the Savior say,

"Thy strength indeed is small,

Child of weakness, watch and pray,

Find in Me thine all in all."

Jesus paid it all

All to Him I owe

Sin had left a crimson stain

He washed it white as snow

Lord, now indeed I find

Thy power and Thine alone

Can change the leper's spots

And melt the heart of stone

And when before the throne

I stand in Him complete

Jesus died my soul to save

My lips shall still repeat

Oh, praise the one who paid my debt

And raised this life up from the dead

This song is on my heart today. Thought someone out there might benefit from it, too.

Jesus, you paid it ALL for me. There is nothing I can do to change your love for me. Amen!

Nehemiah 8:10 The joy of the Lord is my strength.

HALFWAY There!!!!

Listen up--this is BIG. We're 50% to the finish line with this deployment. Yippeeeee!!!! I'm so thrilled to be at this point. For the past several months, we've been on the "uphill" portion of Matt being gone. We've survived (and thrived) through birthdays without Daddy, holidays without Daddy, a referral for our sweet son Easton without Daddy, and the 100 other regular days without Daddy. We made it!

I googled "Army homecoming photos" and the most interesting photo popped up. Crazy, huh? It's strangely accurate...

Matt, I'm so proud of you! I am proud to call you my husband and my best friend. I miss you more than I can say. I miss the big things, like all the holidays and birthdays spent apart. More than that, I miss the little things. The strange habits and quirky things that are unique to you and me. The hilarious things we say and do when we are with each other that make us "us." I miss being able to "let down my hair" the way I can when I know you're here to pick up the slack when I'm all out of energy, patience, etc. I miss YOU!

We're on the downhill now! Yay!