Dear Deployment,

You are no friend to me. You are a stealer of joy. A challenge. A battle. A separation. A dull ache that never really goes away. I've gotten very well adjusted to your presence in our family. We've managed to navigate our daily lives and interactions with one another despite your intrusion. We've embraced the opportunity to grow in our faith and to strengthen our relationships out of necessity due to your presence in our lives. Most days, I would even say we're thriving.

Today, however, is not one of those days. One of my kids is having a pretty hard time, and I honestly don't know whether to blame you or not. When I see something going on with one of the kids, I immediately wonder whether it is your reality, your presence in our lives that is causing what I see. Or is it just life with small children? Sometimes, it's so hard to tell.

Deployment, you leave me with so many unanswered questions. Are the kids really okay? Do they miss him? Are they scared he won't come home? Are they angry? Do they feel rejected? Am I doing enough? Am I loving them enough for the Daddy that can't wrap his arms around them right now? Am I really cut out for this lifestyle?

Tomorrow is a new day. But tonight, I just want my husband back.

Deployment, you stink!

Regretfully yours,
Sarah

ps-To show you that you will not get the best of me, I've included this comical picture. Take that, deployment!